Read time:
This piece presents a dialogue, navigating from the problem to the freedom in deliverance from lust, but more importantly being given power over it, to walk in confidence and without shame. You are welcome to skip to the section that speaks most to you.
- We Are Not Powerless
- Freedom Starts With Accepting Our Holiness
- I am a free man. And free, is… well… free.
- Seeing Lust Clearly
- Power Over Lust Is Resting In How God Is Sufficient
We Are Not Powerless
There is a lot on the subject of lust. Honestly, to the point where one could even say too much focus has been placed on this subject. And yet, the problem still persists.
I’ve personally witnessed the whole landscape of conservativism (strict and no-quarter treatment to any scent of lust to where even the mere fact you were tempted brings paralyzing shame) to liberalism (all is allowed because it’s just natural needs), and tried to place my feet in both. Despite the amount of content and directness of said content, very rarely has there ever been any sustainable mindsets that provide both the freedom from shame and pressure and the power over lust. Everything seems to fall short of the mark.
While I won’t say they don’t exist, I haven’t heard any messages that provide the truth that both acknowledges the need to change and provides the path and framework in a way that sets up a path for sustained victory and wholeness.
In all things I’ve heard, there’s never been peace. It’s either been “It’s not a big deal” (which is a lie because I’ve never been made better for the presence of lust in my life, and so there is slavery to the desire) to “It’s everything” (which is a lie because then I become a slave to the judgement).
I’ve witnessed the shelter-in-place approach, so restricted by the potential fallout of having dirtied one self by even the appearance of having thought of or being aware of something sexual that shame and fear and guilt have cast tremendous burden over innocent females who are not in any way responsible for the actions of others and cut the legs off from men by condemning them to a guilt cycle. Females don’t feel bold in their own being, and men feel nervous. Meanwhile, the Church blames the world that has no Godly reason to be concerned with lust and they see us as nuts for thinking so.
Honestly, the fallout from these unpeaceful approaches to self-protection and attempts to conform the behavior of others in order to make one self comfortable with the appearance of holiness is just more slavery.
And I’ve heard the teachings from Romans 7: “For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I do the very thing I do not want, I am no longer [the one] doing it, but sin that dwells in me,” and countless teachings on how we must fight the good fight and just get back up because Jesus loves us, to fight other day until battered and bruised we come home to God and the issue is no longer…
And after having tried it all, we all know it’s not true. But we don’t know what IS true. So we straddle the fence of trying to not engage when it is top of mind or has notable social consequences and ignoring the matter in quiet when there are no consequences. And try to justify to ourselves that God will forgive me, because after all I am just a broken sinner saved by the grace of Jesus…
You mean you were.
We do not live in a world where we are powerless, subject to every temptation with the hope of being forgiven from them.
We are not destined to navigate life bound by the shame of sin (or the shame that that sin is tempting, even without having partaken), if Jesus Christ bore my sin and washed me clean.
Jesus freed prostitutes and freely loved those near Him. “But He was God…” And? Am I not born again in God Himself? Am I not made holy in this present age, because of the blood He spilled and the body He broke? Or when Paul and Peter wrote to churches and called them saints, were they lying to them? “Saints in heaven, but sinners on earth.”
That is far from who we are.
Freedom Starts With Accepting Our Holiness
I dare to believe that I am clothed in the white of His righteousness in this very moment. That I am the glory and splendor of God in this very moment.
Having lived a life insecure of my standing before God and waffling before the world in an attempt to “remain pure” and “pursue holiness” in all things because I so desire to be pleasing to my God, it is clear to me that the trap is more powerful in the post-sin than it is in the pre-sin. Temptations be what they are… the guilt and shame and powerlessness after sin? That’s the killing blow right there.
I’ve become full of sorrow at the slavery we’ve allowed to put on ourselves out of an insufficient revelation of the finality of the Cross. That we accept from the judgement of others, because we don’t know we are the glory of God. How we attempt to be pleasing to God because we are not aware of His great love towards us.
The truth is, we didn’t come to know God to take up a mantle and walk on a pilgrimage without Him and just hope that our effort to carry our cross is good enough to be pleasing. I dare to believe that the Cross was sufficient. That when Jesus declared that “It is finished!” He meant for all time, for all striving. That despite my best efforts, I would never have earned or be good enough to be pleasing and it is only by His grace, that I am holy and walk before Him blameless and free.
I am a free man. And free, is… well… free.
Our freedom is from judgement and the fear of judgement.
Meaning, my salvation is unconditional. My standing before God in this very moment is already established and will remain so for all time. How pleasing I am to God remains the same, how much He loves me remains the same. Because if I was made holy by the cross, I can’t unmake my holiness. Jesus Christ, alone, is sufficient.
Why does this matter?
Because I am a new man. I died. The shell is gone. In all things. And all is left is an intimate relationship with a Father who is good to me, because He is good and not because I am worthy of His goodness. And I am clothed in white, righteous and glorious, sharing in the splendor of God because I am His glory. I am His spoil from victory. I am the wealth of His kingdom.
Why does this matter?
Because sin is now just distance from the love of my heart, the wound to my tender-hearted Father. Sin, now, is just rolling around in the dirt while I’m clothed in splendor… and that doesn’t sound even enticing.
We don’t fall for emails from Nigeria or IRS calls about tax fraud… why?
Because the fear that something has over me is nothing if its lie is seen.
I don’t grovel and beg for money on the sidewalk. Why? Because I am royalty, and my Father covers my needs.
Why does this matter?
Seeing Lust Clearly
All sin is the invitation to indulge in a fantasy that doing “X” will tend to my need of “X” that isn’t actively being filled by the love of God.
It is the lack of contentment in God. Being made satisfied in anything but the love of God.
This applies to all things. Sexual lust is only powerful because the seduction aims to satisfy brokenness that has a direct line to the core of the being where there are needs in affection, being seen, made to feel powerful, and feeling in control. Need we mention that lust is not exclusively sexual? Applies to all things that we don’t have but wish we did, and long for, because we wish to satisfy a desire… a desire to be seen, made to feel powerful, and feeling in control.
So perhaps we should start the whole topic all over again, agnostic to the matters of sexuality and addressing all matters where we long for anything that isn’t our Father and King.
- Promotions and career tracks
- Being liked by those around us
- A wife or a husband, if we haven’t yet found a spouse
- A more fulfilling wife or husband, if we have
- To be the one liked in the work circle
- To matter
- To make a difference
- To make my mark on history
- To have control of my circumstances
- To have control over the variables around me (including people)
Lust is far greater than sex.
Yet, in order to be rooted in truth, there must be the acknowledgement to the truth that…
The consequences of sexual immorality is destructive and devastating. It is despicable and twisted. Lends to plenty additional brokenness and harm. It corrupts the innocence and of women and brings shame and abuse to their world. It turns men who were made to be knights into pirates and marauders.
Like all sin, lust brings the holy ones to live as broken people. Though they aren’t. And it ties them down with baggage and threads, that weigh down a people that is made to be free.
Why does this matter?
Power Over Lust Is Resting In How God Is Sufficient
Because the key to being impregnable to lust, is being content with God. Sin has no temptation if there is no value to what it offers.
And he who believes that He who seeks, finds, there is no end to being content with God.
Peace. The being made content in the love and enabled by the power of God, alone.
It is the stewarding of His love for us. Receiving it as it is given, and running to it whenever there is a lack. Believing that it is always present and endless, and asking Him to satisfy my need with His love. Then expecting Him to do so. Because He does. Because He is a good Father. As read before, there is no shame in coming to Him, because we are holy. And His kindness leads us to change. His love transforms the desires of our heart, because our needs are put to rest. They are satisfied. Because He is sufficient.
Now? There is no straining to “stay away from” or aversions to “what if I look.” There is only wisdom in not putting myself in unwise situations. There is a powerful love for those around me, that overtakes any desperate attempt to “be holy.”
Because I am holy. And they are loved by God too. And the love of His heart rages within me for me, for them.
And I haven’t been more free, and more powerful over my being, ever before. Because I’m not relying on me doing right. I am relying on God to be sufficient.
And He is.
Probably even more important is this, that I am relying on God to be good to me despite what I do.
And He is.
To know that I don’t have to appear holy to be holy. For I am holy, as He is holy.
And that’s why I have no part in darkness. Just a pursuit for God and all that He is.
And also why when I find myself in darkness, there is no fear. Only an honest confession of what I sought to hold for myself, and a sorrow for the wound I made when He reveals it to me.
All as if He was a good Father, and I was His loved son…
The Call To More 